The title of this post is from an episode of THE FALL AND RISE OF REGINALD PERRIN, a delightfully subversive and acidic slice of British TV history that you should check out if you haven’t already.
I use it to note my surprise that this blog is back online after having been taken down for a while, probably due to an . . . injudicious comment I made about one of DOCTOR WHO’s showrunners. All I know for certain is that after the site vanished, I did remove a specific paragraph from one post, and after a while here we are, back in business.
Except.
When TV looked its bleakest and it seemed like things could not get any worse for DOCTOR WHO . . . they did. As a result, I’ll most likely never again write about the series as a Living Thing; only as the relic of TV history that it has become. Face it if you haven’t: DOCTOR WHO is dead. It has ceased to be, expired and gone to meet its makers.
Oh, there’s a show currently airing out there that calls itself DOCTOR WHO. But it’s WHO in Name Only — and Russell Davies knows it. That’s why he called it “series 1.” It is a wholly new and different animal that just wears a few trappings of WHO (mainly the time machine in the shape of a police box) as plastic surface decoration. It may look like a Wooly Mammoth from the outside, but under the surface it is all domestic terrier. That’s right: it’s now bigger on the outside than the inside. It may be a terrific show for all I know, but it ain’t DOCTOR WHO.
Davies is not wholly to blame even if he’s been instrumental in the show’s demise. A long while ago, when asked if the show would continue, Steven Moffat said that DOCTOR WHO would be around forever — adding, quote, “I’ve seen the business plan.”
I know a little something about Suited Corporate Bastards and their Business Plans, and I’d bet you folding money that ninety percent of everything that original series fans hate about the show in its current form was mandated by the BBC. True, by the time of series ten Steven Moffat was written out vis a vis DOCTOR WHO: he’d said everything that he wanted to say about the show, done everything that he wanted to do with it and was danged tired of being its showrunner — but even if he’d been fresh there was nothing that any writer or showrunner could have done to save it, because the god-awul pile of dreck that Chris Chibnall delivered was what the BBC wanted. He was doing what he’d been ordered to do.
Suited Corporate Bastards and their Business Plans.
Of course I’ll continue to support the Blu-Ray releases of the original series, but beyond that? Not one dime of my money nor one nanosecond of time out of my life shall they get. As far as I’m concerned, DOCTOR WHO ended with series ten, and Peter Capaldi did not regenerate into Jodi Whittaker. It was by then the end of the line for the original Doctor. The final regeneration went Horribly Wrong, and he came out of it as the Roger Delgado iteration of The Master. The show became a closed loop. It is finished.
Such is the level of software and computing power we have at our fingertips today, I could actually create that ending and make it happen. But what would be the point? Doctor Who is dead, and I have other fish to fry.
—Thorn.